I see your perspective.
As I see things, everyone is distracted from analysing the system which oppresses us, not just you and I, but all of us.
We are too busy looking at the world only from our own individual perspective, or our chosen tribe's perspective, that we miss the bigger picture.
I am not sure self proclaimed messianic missions will help you much, if you are looking for attention to your cause, but if it makes you feel better, hey-ho.
On the futility of sacrificing one's life to bring attention to a cause; in case that is what you have in mind; did the buddhist priest who immolated himself outside the conference of elites claiming to be addressing the global environmental problem whilst making yet more bullsiht business out of it, achieve anything?
Nope. But in his mind it was big enough to kill himself for.
It worked for Christ, maybe, to some extent, but that was 2000 years ago.
I don't think it works anymore.
If I was to try to offer you any advice that might help move your mind from the problems immediately affecting you, I would suggest you dig into research, to find out what it is that drives all of humanity, to continue digging when it has already reached the bottom of the usable energy resources of Earth, in search of ever more, instead of humanity looking to where it all came from, the sun.
A clue is this; every promise to pay is a promise to extract.
To break that deadly rule, we must switch the source of energy of all of humanity from the kinds that always require labor to extract, to the kind that is pushed to us for free.
There is only one, the sun.
Maybe we'll get it by just demanding free money, because that is what has to result from using the energy of the sun, free money has to be issued, to reflect the free product that results from its use, but we have yet to hear that acknowledged by any money issuers.
Writing about this has worked for me, though I can't claim to be in the same circumstances as you, I've been similarly miserable in my mind at different times in my earlier life, and hope never to be never in that frame of mind again.
All the best to you, I wish you well.
