I agree completely with your thoughts and sentiment. You don't mention whether you were an only child or not but it sounds like you might have been.
I had a little sister who arrived when I was three but then was snatched away from life again after seven years, by cancer of the kidneys, she died on the operating table, when I'd been told only that the doctors were going to make her sore tummy better.
I couldn't process it when that changed to her never coming back. I never even got a chance to say goodbye, but I couldn't blame parents for that, who'd been separated since she was only aged about one.
Anyhow I was worried the cancer would come for me too.
Every ache or pain I ever had, including in my head, was cancer in my mind.
I am sixty now and survived thirty five years of smoking in that history, seeing my mum also taken by lung cancer, I feel lucky already, because now I started working on what I see is the global energy problem, I've already done enough on that to feel like I made a difference but won't stop until it's fixed, or until I die. But I have no fear of dying now, only that I'd be leaving my twenty year old daughter without a Dad, but she's already learning to fend for herself so that fear gets less now, She knows my lifestyle necessitated by the unpaid work I do to try to help fix the energy problem might cut my life short but has come to terms with it, I think.