Hopefully writing your story will help you put those negative retro thoughts to sleep.
In case of any help, here is the strategy I settled at after wasting much more time “crying over spilt milk” than I should have done, which seems to work, as I spend very little time dwelling on the past now:
The years stolen by an insincere relationship are only added to by the years spent dwelling on it.
It is a little like being ripped off for money, except it was time that was invested.
In either case, much more is likely to be lost chasing compensation, than can be gained from writing it off and starting anew from scratch.
So, we learn from it, and become bigger, bolder, leaner versions of ourselves, to make sure it can’t happen again, and even better, to make sure that from then on, we rescue all the joy that might have been lost in the past, by spending our time only with those that really appreciate it.
The most important person on that list is our own selves.
Others start to really appreciate and enjoy our company when we learn (or re-learn) how to really appreciate and enjoy it ourselves.
I wish you every happiness for the future.